As the sun sets on another vibrant summer, it's time to reflect on the dating trends that have emerged and the ones we, as Black singles, need to leave in the past. While summer often brings a sense of freedom, adventure, and the possibility of new romantic connections, not every trend is worth carrying into the cooler months. Let’s recap the highs and lows of summer dating, and highlight the trends that no longer serve us.
1. The Rise of Superficial Connections
This summer, dating apps saw a surge in activity, with many singles swiping left and right at record speeds. While the convenience of online dating can’t be denied, it’s important to recognize the growing trend of superficial connections. Too often, singles focus solely on aesthetics, reducing potential partners to a collection of photos and witty one-liners.
For Black singles, this trend is particularly concerning. We deserve more than surface-level connections. We need to prioritize deeper conversations that align with our values, culture, and goals. Let's leave behind the habit of swiping based on looks alone and start engaging in meaningful dialogue that fosters real connections. For tips on moving beyond surface-level interactions, check out our blog on How to Set Healthy Dating Standards.
2. Ghosting: A Haunting Trend That Needs to End
Ghosting was unfortunately alive and well this summer, and it’s time to bid it farewell. The act of disappearing without a word is not only disrespectful but also damaging to the person on the receiving end. For Black singles, who often face additional challenges in the dating world, ghosting can feel like yet another barrier to forming meaningful relationships.
As we move forward, let's commit to better communication. If you're not interested in continuing a connection, be upfront and honest. A simple conversation can save someone from unnecessary pain and confusion. Need more advice on handling ghosting and improving communication? Check out our article on Three Keys to a Successful Relationship.
3.Online Overload and Dating App Fatigue
Another growing trend is online dating overload. With constant notifications, endless swiping, and messaging, it's no wonder so many singles are feeling exhausted by the process. Check out CarpeDM on NPR, where we discussed the loneliness epidemic and the truth behind dating apps.
For Black singles, who often face additional stress navigating these platforms, the feeling of dating app fatigue can be especially draining. Instead of burning out, consider taking a break from social media and dating apps. Reconnect with yourself and the people around you. Even better, outsource your dating journey! Let a matchmaker do the heavy lifting. Matchmaking services like CarpeDM are designed to take the stress out of dating by curating quality matches that align with your values and desires. It’s time to refresh your approach to dating and give yourself the space to connect authentically without screen fatigue.
4. The “Situationship” Trap
The situationship—where two people are more than friends but less than committed partners—was another prevalent trend this summer. While it might seem like a convenient arrangement, especially during a season known for its carefree vibes, it often leaves one or both parties feeling unfulfilled and uncertain.
Black men and women deserve clarity and commitment. Instead of settling for situationships, let's seek out relationships where both parties are on the same page about their intentions. It's time to prioritize our emotional well-being and demand the respect we deserve.
5. The Paradox of Choice: Too Many Options
One of the most pervasive trends this summer was the illusion that we have endless options in the dating pool. With so many dating apps and the ability to connect with anyone, anywhere, the idea that we can always find someone better leads to the “paradox of choice.” The overwhelming number of choices makes it difficult to settle on one person, leaving many singles unsatisfied and constantly searching for the next best thing.
The pressure of navigating too many options can lead to decision fatigue, shallow connections, and missed opportunities to invest in truly meaningful relationships. It’s time to leave behind the mentality that there's always something better just a swipe away and start focusing on quality over quantity. Prioritize intentional dating and invest in relationships that matter. For more on making intentional dating decisions, read our blog on Slow Dating.
6. The Pressure to Couple Up
Summer often brings with it a social pressure to be in a relationship. Whether it’s attending weddings, barbecues, or vacations, the expectation to have a plus-one can be overwhelming. This pressure can lead to rushed decisions and settling for less than we deserve.
As Black people, it’s important to remember that our worth isn’t tied to our relationship status. Embrace your singlehood and focus on your personal growth, career, and passions. The right relationship will come at the right time, and it’s worth waiting for.
7. Spaces That Don’t Prioritize Black People
One critical trend that needs to be left behind is the engagement with spaces and platforms that don’t prioritize or respect Black people. Whether it’s dating apps that fail to address the unique needs of Black singles or social settings where our presence is marginalized, it’s time to seek out spaces that celebrate and uplift us.
We deserve to be in environments where our cultural backgrounds and identities are valued and respected. This fall, let’s focus on finding and creating inclusive spaces where we can be our authentic selves and connect with others who appreciate us for who we truly are.
Moving Forward: Setting New Dating Standards
As we transition from summer to fall, let’s set new standards in our dating lives. It’s time to leave behind the trends that don’t serve us and embrace a healthier approach to finding love. Prioritize deep connections, clear communication, and mutual respect. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.
At CarpeDM, we’re committed to helping Black singles find meaningful relationships. As you reflect on your summer dating experiences, consider what you truly want in a partner and how you can be the best partner in return.
Stay tuned for our upcoming cuffing season recommendations! We’ll be sharing tips and advice to help you navigate the cooler months with confidence and intention, ensuring that your search for love is as fulfilling as it can be.
