By Naza Shelley, CarpeDM CEO & Matchmaker
As a professional matchmaker at CarpeDM, I’ve had the unique opportunity to help black singles find meaningful connections in a variety of settings, from personalized matchmaking to in-person events to innovative experiences like CarpeDM’s and Unskrypted TV’s The Dating Game. Dating shows like these are a fun and interactive way to meet a potential partner, but they’re not without their unique challenges. For singles considering stepping into the spotlight of a dating show, here are some insider tips to maximize your chances of finding a genuine connection and enjoying the experience.
But First How The Dating Game Works:
One lucky bachelor or bachelorette is matched with three hand-selected contestants, carefully chosen by the CarpeDM matchmaking team. Separated by a partition wall, they engage in a conversation filled with meaningful questions—no visuals, just voices, words, and emotions to guide the connection.
But there's a twist! The audience plays a role too, using "Match" or "Pass" cards to weigh in on the potential connections. Do you trust the instincts of a room full of friends and complete strangers? Or do you follow your gut, relying on the way a contestant’s voice, answers, and inflection make you feel? In the end, the choice is yours—will you take a chance on a connection beyond the surface?
Curious to see how it all went down? Don’t miss the recap of The Dating Game!
1. Be Open-Minded
One of the most important lessons I share with CarpeDM members is the value of being open-minded. We all have preconceived notions of our ideal partner and oftentimes those notions can lead us to missing out on a great connection for inconsequential reasons! On shows like The Dating Game, you’re often faced with unique constraints. On The Dating Game, contestants can’t see each other because of the wall partition, forcing them to focus on personality, values, and conversation rather than just appearances. This unique setup encourages deeper connections by highlighting what truly makes a relationship last—shared interests, humor, ambition, and emotional compatibility.
Instead of relying on first impressions based on looks, pay close attention to what your potential match says. Their stories, perspectives, and passions might reveal a spark you wouldn’t have noticed otherwise. True chemistry isn’t just about attraction—it’s about how two people connect beyond the surface.
2. Prepare Thoughtful Questions
Before stepping into the show, take time to think about what truly matters to you in a partner. Prepare a list of thoughtful questions that can help you learn more about your potential match beyond surface-level characteristics. For example, instead of asking, “What do you do for work?” consider asking, “What do you love most about your job?” or “What’s a dream you’re currently working toward?”
As a Matchmaker, I challenge both clients and show participants to answer deeper questions like “What’s the one thing your partner must understand about you to have a successful relationship?
The questions you ask can reveal a lot about compatibility and shared interests, giving you a clearer sense of whether someone aligns with your values and lifestyle.
3. Know Your Dealbreakers
While openness is key, it’s equally important to know your non-negotiables. Dealbreakers are the aspects of a relationship you simply can’t compromise on, whether they’re tied to lifestyle, values, or long-term goals. Having clarity on these boundaries before the show will help you make confident decisions when faced with a match that might not align with your needs.
That said, be careful not to confuse dealbreakers with preferences. A match who doesn’t fit your ideal height or style might still surprise you with their compatibility in other, more significant ways.
If you need help identifying your dealbreakers, consider a 1:1 coaching session with a CarpeDM Coach! We’ll delve deep and help you develop an action plan to date successfully!
4. Embrace the Experience
Dating shows are as much about the journey as they are about finding a match. These experiences are designed to push you out of your comfort zone, spark interesting conversations, and help you learn more about yourself along the way. Even if you don’t find "the one," you’ll gain valuable insights into what you’re looking for and how you connect with others.
You’ll also be in a space with other singles. So, there’s also a chance for you to meet someone attending the event!
Approach the show and the experience with a sense of curiosity and fun. The connections you make, whether romantic or platonic, can enrich your life in unexpected ways.
5. Stay True to Yourself
Authenticity is magnetic. When you’re on a dating show, it’s tempting to try to impress or fit into an idealized version of what you think others want. But the best way to attract a meaningful connection is to show up as your genuine self. Share your passions, quirks, and dreams openly. The right person will appreciate you for who you are, not who you think you should be.
6. Reflect After Each Encounter and Seek Feedback
One of the unique aspects of dating shows like The Dating Game is the rapid-fire nature of interactions. After your experience, take a moment to reflect on what you learned about your potential matches and how you felt during your conversations. Did you feel excited, curious, or comfortable? Or did something they said or did leave you with doubts? These reflections can guide your next steps and help you make more intentional decisions.
Many dating shows provide an opportunity for participants to receive feedback from hosts, matchmakers, or even other contestants. Don’t shy away from this feedback—it’s a valuable tool for growth. Whether it’s about how you present yourself, the energy you bring to a conversation, or your decision-making process, constructive feedback can help you fine-tune your approach to dating.
7. Rethinking the ‘Organic’ Meeting
I love the idea of meeting someone “organically”—locking eyes across a coffee shop, bumping into a future partner at the grocery store, or striking up a conversation at a concert. But the reality? Those moments don’t just happen—they’re the result of putting yourself in the right spaces, communities, and experiences.
Take The Dating Game couple, Booker and Mai. Turns out, the bachelorette Booker selected lived just 10 minutes away from him! Yet, despite being practically neighbors, their paths had never crossed—until this curated matchmaking experience brought them together. Without being open-minded and stepping outside of traditional dating methods, how in the world would this so-called "organic" connection have happened?
True connection isn't about waiting for fate to do all the work—it’s about being intentional, open, and willing to explore new ways to meet people. So, whether it's through a CarpeDM matchmaker or another curated experience, remember: sometimes, the most “organic” connections start in the most unexpected ways.
Final Thoughts
Participating in a dating show like The Dating Game is an exciting opportunity to meet new people and explore the dynamics of modern dating in a dynamic, interactive setting. By staying open-minded, preparing thoughtfully, and embracing the experience, you’ll set yourself up for success—whether that means finding a lasting connection or simply growing as an individual.
At CarpeDM, we’re passionate about helping singles create meaningful relationships. If you want personalized guidance on your dating journey, we’re here to help. Who knows? Your next big love story might just start with us!
